Friday The 13th (2009) Review

I saw the new Friday the 13th movie and I was hoping it would be a better movie compared to the past Jason movie’s that have been released to my surprise, I was very disappointed with this movie. This movie had so much potential to being a good Friday the 13th movie that the writers of this movie should be ashamed. The fact that it was a remake/retelling of the original didn’t bother me at all, it almost felt like a sequel.

In all the Friday The 13th movies, Jason usually kills his victims in an unusual fashion that people will usually remember. People can make lists of their top kills from the movies (most top kill is the sleeping bag kill from Pt 7) but this movie doesn’t have any unique or kills people will remember. Most kills are simple knifes slitting throats, chopping heads, stabbing object into heads and that’s it. This really bothered me cause in these scenes you can clearly see in the background good tools that would have been good for kills, like a table saw and even a bug light. At one point they focus on this bug light twice, maybe they want you to think something will happen with it, but it doesn’t, and I thought it would have been cool if Jason slammed someone’s face into it. They also have a big wood chipper in the movie, you would have thought for sure Jason would have killed someone with that, nope. The only kill that might be remembered for in this movie would be when Jason grabs a girl in a sleeping bag, ties her up, throws her up over a tree and leaves her hanging over an open fire so that she is cooking inside the sleeping bag, all this while the girl’s boyfriend is about 20 yards away checking out what a sound was, once he comes back he sees her hanging from the tree, he starting running towards her and his leg than gets snapped in a bear trap. I don’t like this cause it would take Jason at least 5 minutes to set the trap, tie her up, throw her over the tree, tie the rope to the tree and add more wood to the fire, all this while the boyfriend was gone for less than a minute. Really unbelievable but in a movie like this it’s best not to think about what’s possible and what’s not.  

Speaking of that wood chipper again, let’s talk about the ending, where they stick the top of Jason’s head in it to kill him. They only push him in far enough so they don’t damage the mask. I guess they don’t want to harm the mask so they have it for the sequel, but still why don’t these dumb kids just push Jason’s whole body through the wood chipper instead of just a little bit and then drag his body to the lake and push it in the water, and if anyone who has seen an original Friday the 13th film you should have expected Jason to jump out of the water, but was that a dream sequence or not?? Guess we will have to wait till Friday the 13th Part 2 comes out, wait there already is a part 2, and how are they going to name the sequel to this?

The look of Jason bothered me in this film, I enjoyed the look of him more in the potato sack more than in the hockey mask in this film which is shocking cause in the original Friday the 13th Part 2 I hated the sack over the face look, I am more of a hockey mask guy but not in this film. Once Jason put the hockey mask on in this film I felt like he wasn’t as scary. The actor they had to play Jason did not have the body for Jason, his head was too big for a mask that was too small, his neck was huge and really stuck out, and I still am not a fan of Jason having hair. You do see Jason unmasked for a few quick seconds, not long enough for me to say if I thought if it was cool or not, I’ll have to wait for the DVD so I can freeze frame and see it again but at quick glance it looked like how he looked in Friday Pt 2.

After seeing this movie I would really like to see a movie that somehow focused more on Jason himself. About how he survives and what he does when he goes home. What does he do in his free time? In this movie you see campers find his house and in his house you see all kinds of antiques, kid toys, dolls, teddy bears on his own bed that says Jason. Does Jason play with toys? And then there is a shrine to his mother in his bathroom including her head. Next you go into his basement which is almost like a dungeon, chains, knifes, and tunnels that seems like he takes his dead victims. They don’t show what he does with them but I would like to see more about what goes though the mind of Jason, how he survives, what he eats, if he has any contact with people like that old lady that seemed to know who he was. Does she/did she ever give him supplies, make him meals give him clothes when he was a child? Let’s have a movie that makes Jason the hero, villain, victim and main character all at the same time and dumb teenage characters his pray and not the main focus of the movie.

So to sum up this movie in a few quick tips

-Don’t try to steal the weed in Jason’s back yard. You will get killed.
-Pray you don’t look like Jason’s mother, you will be kept prisoner in his basement.
-Don’t think that a retarded killer with a lazy eye can’t get a perfect shot with a bow and arrow and hit you in the head while you’re driving a boat while your about 200 yards from shore.
-Don’t send the Black guy out to check on the Asian guy with a frying pan, don’t you know, Black guys never survive horror movies.
-Jason can teleport from Point A to Point B which is about half a mile in less than a minute and go back to Point A just a quick. He can also kill someone and then appear on a roof of a house.
-If you’re going to kill Jason by putting to very top of his head in a wood chipper, why not put his whole body in?
-If you see a guy with a mask/sack over his face and a big knife, don’t try to lock yourself in your sleeping bag, nothing good will come out of it. You will get stabbed, slammed against a tree, or hung over a fire to cook